ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.
oh my god you managed to one up john green.
my thighs don’t touch because i’m fat they touch because they’re in love
i want pizza but im broke what if i just walked into a shop and stole a 12 inch pizza and ran away do u think id get away with it
update: i got away with it
omg no dont reblog this post what if the police find me
hello yes police there’s someone on the internet who stole a pizza and got away with it
r u trying 2 get me put in jail u asshole
so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.