theneverendingdrums: wimpala: theneverendingdrums: theneverendingdrums: theneverendingdrums: i want pizza but im broke what if i just walked into a shop and stole a 12 inch pizza and ran away do u think id get away with it update: i got away with it omg no dont reblog this post what if the police find me hello yes police there’s someone on the internet who stole a pizza and got...
emilioestevez: story time so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
gaysexistheanswer: hungarian: someone in class asked me for my tumblr & i took her phone & told her i followed myself on her account but i actually followed gaysexistheanswer thank you
nighthooker: how the fuck do i become friends with some of you you guys are cool as fuck
ipoog: i wish girls could have sleep overs with boys without the whole they gonna fuck attitude
theyellowbrickroad: money doesnt buy happiness but i cant say id be upset in the least bit if i suddenly inherited 5 million dollars
iwillfindyouandiwillshipyou: foolishcaptainkia: gothamshitty: kushdrinker: sweet dreams are made of cheese who am I to diss a brie I cheddar the world and the feta cheese Everybody wants a piece
hitlervevo: when the smart kid gets a bad grade when couples at school break up fights over facebook comments girls crying over their school pictures can we all just talk about how sadistic we are
tea-tears-and-bbc: ballerina-austin: deductionswiththedoctor: So we started reading Romeo and Juliet in English class and i yelled out SPOILER: Romeo and Juliet die… and i shit you not at least 1/3 of the class got really pissed at me beacuse they didnt know thats how it ended IT TELLS YOU IN THE PROLOGUE CIVIL BLOOD MAKES CIVIL HANDS UNCLEAN WHAT DID YOU THINK THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT,...
earthnation: earthnation: lol this dumbass moth is flying into my laptop screen lol u dumb moth IT FLEW UNDER MY FINGER WHILE I WAS TYPING IT JUST COMMITED SUICIDE IT PROBABLY READ THIS POST AND GOT SAD IM SO SORRY MOTH IM SORRY U DIED BY MY HAND R.I.P U WERE ONE CHILL MOTH
slenclerman: just because i hate me doesnt mean you can
forever-classyx: Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your food is cold or if it’s under cooked. Be nice to the cashiers who are still training and can’t ring up your items as quickly as you want. If a stranger smiles and says hello to you, smile and say hello back! It’s just common courtesy, I don’t understand why people have to be so rude.
thefandommenace: I just want a fruit salad that isn’t 98% of these fucking things
homevvrecker: i feel like i annoy 99% of you i am sorry
charlamagnethagod: The two hardest things in the world are trying not to eat out of boredom and not taking 6 hour naps after school
eyeslikecominghome: a commercial for dominos was just on and i guess i was lovingly staring at the tv because my mom says to my dad “i wish you still looked at me like haley’s looking at that pizza”
tre-cool-swallows: green day has been a band longer than i’ve been a person
me: exit tumblr, close laptop, get into bed, unlock phone, check tumblr
appropriate reasons to feel guilty: lying to your parents, cheating on a boyfriend/girlfriend, being rude or mean
inappropriate reasons to feel guilty: chocolate
chompyface: i was a good student until the crushing weight of reality shattered my hope for the future